My Father

It is like blood running through my veins
The feeling
Yes, the feeling
Of seeing
Him
Everyday in everything
My father
▪︎
Today, he is everywhere
In all that I do
In all that I want to do
He will be too
In all that I will ever do
My father
▪︎
He left too soon
Probably went to the moon
And sees us from there,
With his doting gaze
Always clear, never a maze
My father
▪︎
Never thought my life could move an inch
Not knowing where you were
Can only surmise
That you rise
In a place better
My father
▪︎
Where you smile your smile
All day long and in the night
That smile which pushes me
Through and through… like a soaring kite
To be someone only a few know
My father
▪︎
I may look fine… look normal
Carrying my load
Managing it best I can
I know I try…
But only I am aware
In the heart of my heart
Of the void only you can fill
My father
▪︎
I cry my cry
For no-one to see
And bolden my soul
With what you taught me
Then I walk my walk
To fill my store
As you would say
“Against the rainy day”
▪︎▪︎▪︎

As orange popped everywhere!!!

I was cast down from early that morning. That happens to me. Then I become silent and highly contemplative. I feel detached but will make an effort to not appear so. That, however, rarely stops me from carrying on with my day. So I was on my way to work. Thoughts kept crossing my mind, which is a pool of realized/unrealized ideas, formed/unformed opinions, amongst a myriad of other things.

In the solitude of those collected moments, I was gripped by my own chain of thoughts. How visions moved swiftly inside my head! It started with the image of a woman, an orange vendor, which I had recently shared on social media. I thought the photograph nice. It was involuntarily taken at a special moment when she was laughing a full, raw, unmasked laugh. There was nothing artificial about it, only reflected the sunshine of her spirit, which could be permanent or just fleeting, who can say. Nevertheless, the moment was ignited with it and I was able to capture that by chance.

I was thinking of that image -- the woman and her oranges that she had put out for sale in her doko -- when my mind centred on the oranges. I love orange, fruit yes, but colour, more so. It brightens up my soul, I think, if there is such a thing as souls brightening up. It exudes a kind of friendliness that I cannot explain. Thinking of a distant memory, I associate orange with something that made me feel at home, far away from home. Resisting my urge to digress, I will say the colour orange makes me happy.

And that is just what I needed that morning, happiness or something to resemble that, as I travelled to work in the warm sunlight but with cold breeze brushing past my face.

Then I had an impulse… to spot everything orange.

My senses opened up to anything and everything that colour. What a treat that was. They started to appear everywhere!!!

An orange house, a bike with orange framework for wheels, Kurkure packets on display in shops, packaging of sanitary pads in a pharmacy, an orange car, orange cloth bags, bricks lined on the roadside, fruit vendors selling oranges with sunlight hitting them such that they looked even brighter, a girl kicking the fruit -- one fallen on the road -- like a ball, a shop painted in the colour, a lady standing dressed in an orange kurti, orange flowers entwined with the leaves and together forming an arch over a gate, a beautiful coat of the same colour on a glass display, and such, and such!

These simple and mundane things which would have passed by me without notice, had it been any other day, came into my focus from all directions, as if through giant lenses. How simple it was for my heart to open that breezy yet warm morning.

All it needed was a splash of orange. 

Chloe Sullivan

With an upstanding commitment towards the work she does and the people she loves, Chloe Sullivan is an emphatically dynamic character. She is one of the central characters in Smallville. Most of us, who have a penchant for anything fantastical and unworldly, must already know Smallville. It is an American television series that aired from 2001 to 2011. The show was based on the DC comic character Clark Kent and told the story of his life and journey before he became Superman.

The story takes place in the fictional town of Smallville, Kansas, where Clark Kent arrived in a space ship from his planet Krypton in a big meteor shower. The show takes us through the day to day life of Clark and introduces us to his family that adopted and raised him, his friends, his enemies and all the events and circumstances that gradually yet stealthily transformed him from a young and almost naïve boy to Superman.

Clark Kent of Smallville became this defender, saviour and a dependable presence, not just by his own strengths and abilities. He had a lot of help, support and constant encouragement from his family and friends. They thoroughly guided him through his road of transformation. They reassured him of his strengths when he thrived in his endeavours, while stood by him and motivated him when he was discouraged.

One of those people who inspired, protected and guided Clark through and through was Chloe Sullivan, his oldest and best friend and that one person who was always by his side, in the ten years of this story-telling.

Her biggest passion was researching and reporting stories that took place around her, in her school and her town. She ran their school newspaper, The Torch, where she published real capturing stories happening in Smallville. Due to the meteor shower that occurred when Clark arrived on earth, Smallville had meteor rocks spread everywhere, in different kinds of locations and conspicuous places. These rocks, in varied and inexplicable ways, were responsible for creating meteor infections in people who came in close contact with them. The infected persons received peculiar sorts of powers after coming in contact with these rocks. And that led to otherwise unexplained incidents and bizarre behaviour on the part of the infected. In other words, Smallville was almost every day exposed to incidents and events that were news worthy. Chloe took it as her responsibility to report them and make them known to her town’s people. Clark sometimes helped her gather and write stories. She was not just dedicated but fearlessly open to all consequences that were attached with such reporting.

We all find our purposes sooner or later in life. Chloe found hers when she was very young and never faltered in what she believed was her pursuit. She did her research and writing whenever she could. She started early and went on working till late at night. It is stirring really. It is definitely not an effortless task to be so constant in your quest.

That was Chloe Sullivan, bright, bold and highly resolute in her work. She researched, investigated and she wrote. She was extremely intelligent and aware. She administered a publication, worked alone if needed and did it very well. She possessed a directness with which she approached every issue and she committed herself to an unbendable search of truth.

She was not only inspirational but equally inspired. To find a purpose for getting up and living one's day, prioritizing that purpose is no doubt significant to everyone; but Chloe Sullivan showed a totally different level of dedication to her purpose. She knew what she had to do. She recognized, very distinctly, her initiative to research and report stories that crossed her path. The extensiveness of her learning and reporting expanded to a higher level altogether as the series proceeded in its story.

She was always ready for everything that came along her way. She was prepared to take on any kind of search, any sort of investigation to ascertain what was going on and provide the assistance that she was capable of to her friends. Of course, she had her own unaffiliated passion for truth and information. And she worked absolutely hard to keep her journalistic ethics alive. Chloe Sullivan had an unflinching allegiance to her calling.

Another evident quality in Chloe, as a journalist and a story teller, is that she was always reaching out. She reached out to find facts, to analyze and seek connections, to report about the knowledge she had gained and ultimately to help people by performing her critical part. This is one quality that needs to be instilled in a person from childhood. One needs to possess that specific kind of inquisitiveness. Then it is easily possible to be able to reach out. For Chloe, this inquisitiveness and the curiosity came easy. Therefore, she reached out and then she learned. Once her learning was complete- inclusive of facts, details and explanations, she reported with the purest of journalistic drives. People need much practice, patience and discipline to possess this incredible trait of a writer.

Could truth be more imperative than feeling? For Chloe, more often than not it was so in the beginning of the series. For her, truth was the most crucial of all attributes of human life. It cannot be contravened that truth is the foundation of all. If there is an existence of anything, that stands on the pedestal of truth. But situationally, truth needs to be kept second while prioritizing someone's feelings or safety. Giving preference to feelings or sentiments is generally marked as sign of frailty, but are we not all running on these very emotions and sentiments? Despite all assumptions or rather veiled assumptions, we all 'feel', no matter how hard the crust, and there is no weakness in that. It is only nature. But bringing out truth by negatively affecting someone's state of being is not always good, provided that the individual has unscarred intentions. Truth is tricky. It is black and white and in its revelation, not only the person directly connected with it gets affected, but others who have indirect associations with it as well. Bringing the truth in light is noble, but just for the sake of bringing it out, it is not advisable to hurt someone.

Chloe did not clearly understand this fact initially. She thought unveiling the truth was the biggest of all her responsibilities. She was not aware of the consequences that some truths held. But through experiences and certain events, she learned that there is a right time, a right place and a right situation to reveal some truths; and no matter how pure your intention, you always need to check if there are any strings attached. Chloe did cross certain lines in her pursuit of truth. But as the story progressed, she did ultimately understand this reality after being threatened by some uncontrolled and relentless circumstances and she modestly corrected her actions.

Due to her excessive curiosity and fearless impulsiveness, she landed herself in situations not only dangerous but life threatening. Countless times she got herself on the wrong side of powerful people and people who had meteor related abilities. She has been held captive, she has been threatened and discouraged, she has been blackmailed. After knowing Clark’s secret, she has been tested to expose him. But in the face of all these adversities and confrontations, Chloe inevitably held her stand and fought hard to keep her principles and responsibilities in their rightful places and not waver from them. Her determination and resilience were always on top and at par. She was not that girl, who would sit and let things happen. She would stand up, take the fight as bravely as she could, and at the end of the day not just help people in need, but land herself with an absolute gripping story. Her school authority did not always agree, but if socially and physically powerful people could not stop her, nobody else could either.

Chloe was therefore a brilliant reporter. There were times when she overlooked where to stop, but with Clark’s guidance in that matter, she corrected her ways and as a result gave way to the most outstanding reporter that ever could be. She became an inspiration to others, who would later follow her path.

Along with being a talented reporter, Chloe was also very good in dealing with computers. Initially to write her reports and later to help Clark rescue people in need, it is projected in the story that Chloe was good not just in typing her reports, but in accessing various kinds of databases to pull information regarding individuals, companies, organizations, government offices etc. In every occasion that Clark went out physically to save people in need, Chloe was the one who looked out for and caught information that would eventually be pivotal in dealing with the bad guys and otherwise impossible situations. In the beginning, Chloe did all her research through her computer at the office of ‘The Torch’ and her laptop. Later on, most wonderfully she progressed on to use more complex and powerful computers. With her increasing experience, she became progressively clever at accessing various levels of information to use them to protect true people and metaphorically unarm the destructive ones.

Courage is one of the greatest assets an individual can possess. Chloe Sullivan had it. She had always been brave and courageous in the face of any kind of challenge. She was aware about the territories that came along with doing her work honestly and she took the challenges as they came along. It was not that she was not scared, but she gathered every bit of her courage to fight the threats, and came out of it not just with a reveling story but the satisfaction of doing her part in protecting people. Principally she had faith in herself. Other times she knew she had Clark, who would be there to protect her in every adverse situation, even before she was aware of who Clark really was and what his powers were.

Chloe’s role as a friend is highly emphasized. Her friends could always believe in her to help them out and be there for them at any time. She would not think twice about supporting and defending them, even if that meant risking her own life. She would always stand up and move forward to protect her friends.

Chloe Sullivan’s friendship with Clark Kent is that one relationship, which stood through every possible test of time and came out victorious and each time stronger than before. They both had their equal share in making their relationship that much distinguished.

Throughout the series, the relationship between Chloe and Clark has strengthened in ways that cannot simply be described in words. They started off as good friends and went on to become the best of friends and allies that we do not get to witness every day, either in real life or in literature. Theirs is one of those refined friendships that evolve everyday in something better, something stronger, something that is uncompromising and powerful.

Clark always fulfilled his part to make their friendship what it would ultimately become. He consistently loved and protected Chloe like no one else. But it is said there is always one person in a relationship who goes one step ahead in making it that much stronger. And in theirs I think it was Chloe.

Chloe loved Clark with every single fragment of her being. They started off as really good friends. But from almost the beginning of the series it is clear that Chloe had romantic feelings for Clark. She tried not to show it to him or to anyone else for quite some time. But the audience could not ignore the depth and truth of her feelings for Clark. She could and would do just about anything for him. But sadly, Clark did not feel the same for her. He loved and cared for her very much too, just not in a romantic way. Chloe tried to accept this and it is shown by the fact that she knew and accepted Clark’s feelings for Lana Lang.

Through some trial and error Chloe knew inside her heart that she was to be one of Clark’s closest friends, but nothing more. She made a few mistakes and took some wrong steps a few times when she could not control how she felt about him. It hurt her undoubtedly, but slowly she knew her role in Clark’s life and would ultimately, after a lapse of certain time, accept it for what it was, with a happy heart. Eventually, she too would find her happy ending.

Her love and loyalty for Clark never wavered and neither did his for her as his truest friend. It only grew stronger. They only came closer. They became each other's guide and protector. They had their differences for sure, but there was nothing that was substantial enough to stop them from finding their way to each other and to their powerful yet selfless purpose of saving lives.

Chloe was always there for Clark. For whatever purpose Clark came to her, Chloe would do her best to find the solution. In solving their mysteries together, Chloe and Clark became a team that could overcome almost any force, be it human or extra-terrestrial. Before and after Chloe knew about Clark’s powers and origin, she was that one person other than his parents, whom Clark could turn to for any sort of support and advice. When Clark called, Chloe always answered and vice versa.

The ten-year story of Clark Kent or Superman in Smallville has this wonderful woman called Chloe Sullivan inside its pages or images, however we would like to perceive it. She stands out in every scene and every episode, where she is present, and tells us with her words and actions to nurture that very purpose, which each of us is born to. Inside our minds, we know for sure what it is. 

Where it all started…

We all need a beginning. I have always asked of myself to be a good reader for the irreplaceable advantage of holding the fundamental key to the door of extraordinary experiences that reading alone can provide, and to be adept in structuring myself as a writer.

It was a struggle for me. As much as I wanted to accomplish this scholarly enterprise, I was slow at reading. My writing was not totally deficient, but it absolutely lacked the strength of a mind that is only possessed by a natural reader. There lied my struggle. All I required of myself was to be able to read justly and be able to write without restrictions.

I always had an inclination towards classic literature. Technically speaking, my first love for classic literature began after I read Little Women by Louisa May Alcott when I was just a kid. I still love that book exactly the same way I loved it then. The words and images of Little Women on my mind are as vibrant now as they were then. It was with this book that I found out what it is that I like to read.

However, I found my definite beginning when I found Jane Austen. I read my way through her six novels and then my journey began towards uncovering the matchless wisdom that lays hidden inside the pages of literature. I am still subtle with my pace of reading and writing. But I found my initiation into the literary world and I recognized this fact when I recognized Jane Austen.

As I read her books, I also began to study Jane Austen, the author. This article will be a modest interpretation of my perspective of Jane Austen and her works.

Jane Austen, with her stories and characters submerged into social and natural backdrops, has magnified my vision of early nineteenth century England. Her writing has a kind of simplicity and yet an inexplicable richness at the same time. When you are inside a Jane Austen novel or a Jane Austen movie, you kind of want to go live in that place and time. At least that is what happens to me. It is simply wonderful.

Jane Austen became to me the centre and holding point of an umbrella, the canopy of which I would compare to the vast arena of English literature. After being introduced to and enthralled by her works, I started to explore more. I started to know the names and writings of other English and American authors. I began reading Charles Dickens, Thomas Hardy, Elizabeth Gaskell, Charlotte Bronte, Emily Bronte, George Eliot, Wilkie Collins, Nathaniel Hawthorne, John Steinbeck etc. I felt a kind of distinct satisfaction when I completed a book. I discovered the excitement of exploring many open and colourful worlds through the medium of black and white.

Coming back to Jane Austen, I would say she is historical. In her own lifetime, she would not know that. But what she would have given for just one glance of the vision of this future time! A time when her name is not ordinary or forgotten, but a name that generally tops the lists of legendary literary figures. I really wish she could have seen that.

When we read Jane Austen, we tend to be with her, following her into her world of imaginations, her plots and her characters. She guides us into her vision of Elizabeth Bennet and Anne Elliot with equal influence. We are drawn into their worlds and somehow, for that much time when we are reading or watching her characters, it feels like nothing else could be more important. We want to be like them. We wish for ourselves to be as charmingly strong as Elizabeth Bennet and as modestly reinforcing as Anne Elliot. We hope to be as young and alive as Catherine Norland and as vibrant and energetic as Marianne Dashwood. We aspire to be as strong willed and bright as Emma Woodhouse and as patient and giving as Elinor Dashwood. And last but not the least, who would not want to embrace the devotion and selflessness of Fanny Price. So with her characters, Jane Austen has not only given us grounds of exploration, but she has given us unalloyed insights into the possibilities of what a person can be.

Jane Austen's novels possess a very distinct and characteristic image of the English society, mostly the society of a typical English countryside. We also find this society compared with the fashionable community of Bath and London, where sometimes her protagonists are found visiting. In any case, while reading or watching her stories, we can discern the workings and makings of the society of England during the time of Jane Austen.

It was a time when women had little choice but to marry well to secure their future. It is comprehended that Austen herself knew this feeling by experience. Her family had many financial issues, and she had not many options but to follow the social norm of marriage if she wanted her future to be sheltered. So, we can see this reflected in her books, where her characters are trying to keep this balance between not completely being unprotected in the future and at the same time, not disappointing their souls by marrying out of love. How spiritedly her principal characters are shown marching into the unknown and coming out on the other side settled and undefeated in their aspirations!

The stories written by Jane Austen are two centuries old and yet there are certain aspects in them, which can be related to, even today by women, especially in our part of the world. The society holds the power to dominate us. It needn't always be in the negative sense. It could be either way. But it is inevitable that the social norms tend to conflict more often than not with the individual makings. And this is exactly what Austen's characters are seen struggling against and how incredibly they seem to strike a balance between giving society its due respect and yet not losing their own unscathed human desires.

Nature is another element that thrives in the works of Jane Austen. There are beautiful walks that she emphasizes where her characters are known to roam about and have chance meetings. There are woods and hills and wonderful paths. Probably because I am not able to see and walk around such places while living in my city, for me this kind of vision is almost divine and something that I seek. The rustling of dried leaves under the feet, the sound of shoes walking on damp ground, the fresh air breathed in and the feeling of being alive amongst untouched nature are some beautiful sensations that I perceive while I read Jane Austen. There is nothing that can replace the calm and repose of nature. And this certainty is reflected in all the writings of Austen.

Old English countryside architecture can be seen described in the novels of Jane Austen. This imagery is very well executed in all the movies that are based on her books. And easily we are transported to a world far away in time and situation than ours. When we think of the words Pemberly, Netherfield Park, Longbourn, Norland Park, Hartfield, Donwell Abbey, Mansfield Park, Kellynch Hall or Northanger Abbey, we are filled with visions of buildings, gardens and parks where the characters of Jane Austen lived their everyday lives. Some are big structures while others are modest cottages. In any case, they are part of Austen vocabulary and they are as dear to us as the names of the characters themselves. Haven't we all wanted once to step inside the gates of those places and see for ourselves what architecture at its best could look like, how buildings in Jane Austen's time stood, and how their walls and ceilings were carved. I surely am intrigued by the plain thought of it.

One of the most esteemed aspect of Austen is the inspiration she ignites to write. She has been able to create characters and plots that are unforgettable, interesting and influential. Anyone who has the slightest inclination to write has no chance of escaping her prevailing inspiration to create something consequential with words. Also, in most of her characters we notice this inclination to write, mostly journals and letters. That in itself is encouraging. So Jane Austen and her characters have the power to bring out the writer in us if we delve into her world, open to this possibility.

In all her works, Jane Austen has given humour its due importance. No matter how serious we need to become to get things done in this world, one thing that should never be compromised is humour and we see this in the works of Austen. She makes a point to make us smile through her novels. The characters and circumstances are interwoven in such a manner that while some momentous event is happening in the storyline, the readers are at the same time humorously touched. It only designates the truth that no matter how solemn a situation, there is always a possibility of making it light so that life does not become a big chain of severe and rigid moments.

What could be more rapturous than the delight of dancing! Jane Austen sure as anything knew that. It is absolutely pleasurable to read and watch the parts in a Jane Austen story where all the characters get together and dance. The patterns and routines in which an English country dance is performed are righteously capturing. I never knew there was such a thing as English country dance till I came to know about it through Austen. In words and on screen, it looks riveting. It was also considered as a means of socializing. Sometimes it is good to do things together like that as a group. Even today we have our own versions of it. This could lead to a metaphorical insight as to the vitality of coming together as a community.

Saving the best for the last, Austen in all her novels, advocates practically and yet mesmerizingly the distinction of love over every other constituent of life. Love to her is priceless and so it is to her characters. Like all of us, they are seeking and treasuring love. She weaves situations and events in such a manner that every reader can feel what being in love must be like in Austen’s world, which is not very much different than falling in love in this part of the world in the twenty-first century. The basic loving instinct of every human being, anytime, anywhere, is just the same. We cannot help but be awed by how, through trials and almost lost hopes, Austen’s characters find their way to love- honest, heart-warming and inspirational love.

Blending all these brilliant aspects of life into timeless stories, Jane Austen has furnished the realm of literature with such profundity that cannot easily be compared with. I have prized every word, every image, every sensation and every inspiration that has arisen from my knowing Jane Austen two centuries after her lifetime!

Impressions: Reading Little Dorrit

Little Dorrit is one of the brilliant imaginations of Charles Dickens. Little Dorrit refers to Amy Dorrit, a meek, shy, quiet, yet in character- one of the strongest that I have read about. It takes strength to be out-going, extroverted, to be able to speak one’s mind in this ocean of a world. But it takes more strength than that to fight one’s day to day battles with quiet, unspoken, inward fortitude. Amy Dorrit falls under the second category.

 

Little Dorrit was the daughter of William Dorrit, who had been living in the Marshalsea Debtors Prison in London for a very long time, probably sometime during the mid of nineteenth century. He was put inside there when he was unable to pay his creditors. Thinking he would somehow get out of that dreadful place, he passed one long day after another. But he did not get out. When the story begins, he had been in there for around twenty-three years.

Little Dorrit was born in Marshalsea and the only “home” that she came to know till half of the story was the Marshalsea. She had taken her first breath with the tainted air of the place and she had lived there so long that she came to be known to everyone around as the Child of the Marshalsea.

She had two siblings, a sister and a brother. Both of them could not exactly be called morally strong characters because even after being completely aware of the fact of their sad situation, they had airs about them. They looked at themselves as high ranking people in low ranking circumstance, humility completely absent from their human nature. However, Little Dorrit was something else. She was not only absolutely aware of her situation but she did all that she could to not fall further down in the ladder of life. She toiled and toiled hard to keep the little that her family had and did not mention one word of her struggles to anyone. Quiet, yielding and productive are the few words that would describe her justly.

I am nearly half-way through the book and what I want to share is the impressions that I received about her selflessness and her ability to take in, without any negative reaction, the harshness of her surroundings and people around her. It touched me very deeply because that blessed nature of selflessness must have surely gone through tremendous trial to be able to defy its severity.

Little Dorrit was the last born in the family. In age she was the smallest of all. Her father, uncle (who lived outside of Marshalsea, but a regular visitor), sister and brother were all above her in age and experience of life. But she stands out on every page as the “sage”, blessed by some unknown and unfathomable wisdom that guided her through and through.

Her father could never leave the prison. Her sister lived with her uncle and worked in a theater (the arrangement of which rooted in Little Dorrit’s endeavours. Her brother was always in and out of trouble, nevertheless, more often than not lived and breathed in the free air. But Amy Dorrit had committed herself to live with her father and take care of him. She went out every day to work as a seamstress and earn their living, but at night she returned back to the prison and called it her home. She made sure her father was not deficient of any provisions that she brought home. She made sure he ate well, slept well and was warm enough. What she did is what every daughter should do, undoubtedly. But the only thing that would break any reader’s heart would be fact that her unselfish efforts were never acknowledged by her father for what they were. William Dorrit, not for once, up until now realized the sacrifice his daughter was making. She did not care for his acknowledgement. She was only happy that she could do it. She did not expect or want her exertions to be taken extra notice of. She was satisfied discharging her duties as silently as possible. That was her generous love for her father and her family.

But as readers and unattached observers of Little Dorrit’s situation, we feel the injustice. For every time she was checking her father was okay, her father should also have been doing the same. We would understand his inabilities to actually provide for her because he was entrapped, but few kind words and honest concern would not have been so hard for him to give his poor child.

Instead, every once in a while he complained and became disappointed at his own helplessness and became unable to restrain his emotions. He showed his unrest and disordered state of mind to his youngest and kindest daughter in the most distraught matter. Likewise her sister and brother, though they cared for her at some level, did not care to make things easier for her. And yet Little Dorrit had nothing to complain about, if there was anything at all, it would be her thinking that she was somehow not able to do it right by her father and her family.

Can anyone be that selfless? I doubt. But what a character to learn from! Because the one trait that we all need to survive the ‘sometimes kind sometimes harsh’ reality is patience. Little Dorrit, I think, is teaching us all that.